


Incorrect Marvel Quotes(Sorta)

by Rose39



Series: Incorrect Quotes(Sorta) [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Ultimate Spider-Man (Cartoon 2012)
Genre: Crack, F/M, Incorrect Quotes, M/M, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2018-09-24
Packaged: 2019-07-02 09:56:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15794157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rose39/pseuds/Rose39
Summary: Just A Bunch Of Things I Thought It Would Be Funny If Marvel Characters Said.





	1. They're Both 12, I Swear To God

**Author's Note:**

> Unless Otherwise Stated, The Quotes Are Not Mine

"You're just a selfish, self centered being! You don't know what sacrifice is, or love!" Stephen yells at Loki.

"I am a selfish and self-centered being, but it takes one to know one," the God of mischief smirks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got an idea for a misquote? Want to request someone be in here?
> 
> [Hit me up!](https://rosie39.tumblr.com/post/177500739063/i-want-your-help-with-my-december-story%22)   
> 


	2. Hell

"Tony, you look like hell," Steve remarks as Tony walks into the tower.

"Yeah? I just got back."


	3. Asshole

"Hey!... Are we still in a fight?" Tony asks on the phone with Steve.

"You still an asshole?" Steve asks.

"No. I don't think so," Tony shrugs.


	4. Sure Thing, Peter

"Quill, I could use some advice.." Mantis beings.

"I'm not so good with the advice... Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?" Peter offers.


	5. I Mean???

"I'm Gamora. I love Peter. I hate Peter. I love Peter. I hate Peter."

"I'm Nebula. I can't get a boyfriend so I'll stumble across the hall and sleep with the first guy I find there."


	6. Danny Vs. Peter

"Danny entered a Vanilla Ice look-alike contest and **Won**!" Peter blurts during an argument.

"You came fourth and cried!" Danny retorts.

Sam is so happy he's recording.


	7. Since When???

Sam walks into the kitchen and sees Bucky stirring something.

"What are you doing?" Sam asks.

"Making chocolate milk. You want some?" Bucky offers.

"No thanks, I'm an adult," Sam denies.


	8. Loki, You Little Shit

Thor has introduced his brother the Jane, and is regretting it already.

"You should know about Vanaheim," Loki smiles.

"Brother!" Thor cries.

"What happened in Vanaheim?" Jane asks.

"Well, him and I are in a tavern..."

"Did you not hear me say, "Brother"?"

"...and this woman is making eyes at him, okay? So after a while he just goes over to her and, uh, after a minute or two, I see them kissing. Now, I know what you're thinking. Thor's not the type of man who just goes to bars and makes out with women. And you're right. Thor's the type of man just goes to bars and makes out with men," Loki smirks.

"You kissed a guy? Oh my God," Jane laughs.

"In my defense, it was dark and he was a very pretty guy," Thor pouts.


	9. Beautiful Scott

Scott is being ignored in a discussion and flops into a chair, pouting.

"Fine. No one ever listens to me. If the package is this pretty, no one cares what's inside."


	10. Deleted Scene From Age Of Ultron

"Hey, have you ever been beaten up before?" Clint asks Pietro.

"Yeah, sure," the speedster shrugs.

"By someone besides Wanda?"


	11. Really, Odin?

After Loki's “death” it came out that he'd had more than a few male lovers.

Many have asked Odin about his feelings on the matter.

"My son's a homosexual, and I love him. I love my dead gay son," Odin finally answers.


	12. Peter's Sick

Shuri's on the phone with Peter and invites him to the tower to show him something she made.

"I can't go out. I'm sick," Peter whines.

"Boo, you whore!" Shuri complains.

"Shuri! You cannot call people whores over the phone!" T'challa scolds.


	13. Yoda

Stephen, Loki, and Tony are trapped together.

"There is one way out of this mess, and it involves you, Strange, and your powers," Loki begins.

"I've tried everything I know," Stephen argues.

"I know how, and I can show you," Loki retorts.

Stephen begins to consider the offer.

"So that's it? You're our slutty little Yoda now? Real convincing," Tony rolls his eyes.


	14. Not Technically...

"So you and Steve are in a huge fight over what again?" Bruce asks Tony.

"I'd tell how I feel on all of this but, you know, don't speak ill of the dead, or however that goes," Tony rolls his eyes.

"Steve's Dead?!"

"Dead to me."


	15. Bitches

"Hey, if we were in prison, you guys would be like my bitches," Nat drunkenly laughs.

"Yeah," Bruce nods.

"Definitely," Wanda agrees.

"If I have to chose between being your bitch or Tony's I'm going with you," Clint laughs.

This is when Steve confiscates the alcohol.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look! I'm not dead! Sorry bout that.

**Author's Note:**

> If you recognize any quotes comment below, and you might get a shoutout!


End file.
